The Dinner Party

Where is Robert Lusser?

This is a hard photograph for me to look at. My grandfather sits at the head of the table, looking... smug? Content? Full? I believe many of the group of men he's with are military, given the Iron Cross medals that hang from their lapels. My grandfather also has something hanging around his neck, called The War Merit Cross with Swords. This was one of the highest honors the Nazis gave to civilians: the swords version recognized bravery not directly connected to actual fighting. More for the behind the scenes guys.

I think of all the brain power around that table and wonder how many of these men actually believed in what Adolf Hitler was doing, and how many just went along with it because A.) it was good for their careers or B.) They were afraid not to go along. Personally, I believe my grandfather bifurcated his feeling about his career from his true emotions about the Nazi regime and reassured himself with the narrative, "I was just an inventor. I was creating." Human beings are complicated and it's hard to arm chair quarterback history: to put yourself in someone else's seat at the dinner party, in a different, difficult era, without knowing the whole set of circumstances that led to the decisions that they made.

History judges men like my grandfather harshly because he actively aided the Nazi war effort by creating weapons. I think that's fair but the problem is, when you are actively in the MIDST of whatever history is being made, you don't have the kind of vantage point and perspective we have today looking back at World War II. How I wish I could have interviewed my grandfather to understand his perspective more. For the podcast, I did the best I could, gathering information about Robert Lusser in order to get into the mind and heart of a dead man. But my picture of him will always be incomplete. Even after I put all the pieces I had of him together, including the photos, letters, and memories, I still had to make my best guess.